When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
