Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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