I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
