Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
