ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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