The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
