Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
