so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
