So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
