i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
