Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
