So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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