my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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