Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
