I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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