GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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