Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
