don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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