Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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