So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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