yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
no you cant smoke seaweed
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
