Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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