It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
