Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
