nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
