is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
