I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
