Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
