i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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