Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
