Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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