A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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