i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize