I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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