then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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