We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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