did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
