Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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