this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
