Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
