is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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