if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
