I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
