If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
