Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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