did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
