Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
