I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
