Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
even my farts smell like vagina
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
