I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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