Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize