Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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