We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
