naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize