Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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