Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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