I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
the raccoons are back...
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