we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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