He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
