Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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