Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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