You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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