not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if only i could text you this smell
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
