We need to rekindle our bromance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
